Love reading your newsletter, whenever it pops into the inbox. It’s like a surprise gift every time!
I know “passive perfectionism” too. I’ve spent most of 2024 listening and learning its story. Sending love and compassion to your perfectionist part(s) that work so hard!!
Update and highlight of 2024: I helped my Bonus daughter with her college essay. She was willing to let me give feedback for the first time ever! And to “touch” it several times, over several weeks! In that moment, I knew God had prepared me for this role over the past two years by taking all those Exhale writing workshops. It was amazing. Each time I would breathe in a prayer of “what would Sonya say” and embodied an editor that was a ROCKSTAR!! Thank you so much for your teachings and wisdom!!! Smiles, Brittany
Love this Brittany! thank you for sharing this with me. This is so special (and exciting! college!) that she was willing to share her words (i.e. her heart) with you and have you help shape that piece of work. I'm so so so grateful for all the hard work you put into all that editing and revising ... good for you!
And about the perfectionism parts... ooff... they worked hard and I'm seeing how they show up A LOT ... trying to give them compassion all around!
So happy to hear about your Bible-reading journey, Sonya! It was my best resolution of 2024 as well as I had very similar thoughts to you. I also wrote about finishing the Bible (https://jinhee.substack.com/p/4-the-best-things) and since then my husband and I miraculously also read the New Testament together in a month, so I cheer you and everyone on for 2025!!
I had a similar revelation a handful of years ago! How had I grown up literally being sent to school classes on the Bible, but not read it all the way through?? It also took me two years to finish the one year plan! Thanks for sharing your very relatable journey.
I’ve never heard the term “passive perfectionist” before, but man, does it sound like me!
I only wrote one public thing in 2024, and that is for sure something I’d like to change in 2025, along with more reading and more just doing the thing even if it isn’t perfect.
I have never really considered myself a perfectionist but have recently noticed some perfectionist tendencies in one of my kids that started me wondering if maybe I do have some perfectionist tendencies… and now I’m off to google everything I can find about passive perfectionism because reading your description of passive perfectionism felt like a huge lightbulb going off in my head!
It was really good for me to learn … I’m sure there’s more to it for me (the way my brain is wired, etc) but I found it helpful! As always, thanks for reading!
Loved loved loved this. Glad you're here again! You've nailed the perfectionism bit - I've always called myself a recovering perfectionist, but maybe I'm just a passive one like you've so helpfully explained.
This is so relatable. I've started and not finished the Bible for about seven years. When I get behind, I just give up instead of just picking up and continuing. But I think if I ever finish, it will be in two years, not one. Thanks for the inspo, I'll be trying again in 2025. ;)
I'm a new subscriber, so I think this is the first post I've read and it made me LOL soo much! Congrats on you for getting there! I've been ordained a minister for almost two decades and still haven't read the whole darn thing! Also, I appreciate the inteodyto the term passive perfectionism - this now explains so much about my motivations and lack of follow through.
well welcome! Thank you for reading and commenting! It's a daunting thing to do, right? read it all when there's so much else to do. Glad you're here and glad I made you laugh. :)
Sonya, same. I’ve never read through the entire Bible, and it’s bothered me for the past two years…very acutely around resolution making time 😅 I’m proud of you!!
I am RESOLUTE to do it this year…so much so that I’m doing something called a 30 day shred…where you literally have 1 hobby: read and listen to the Bible on audio. The point is to get the entire arc of scripture like you would when reading straight through any book. I will report back to you if I accomplish it! I’m planning to do it before your class this winter (that I’m saving up for) so I’ll use that as motivation 😂
DEFINETLY report back. Either way, actually. and even if it takes you 60 or 90 days, what an awesome thing to do. because that's exactly what I found -- it all came together as one over arching story! Cannot wait to have you in the workshop!
I’ve worked through Lore Wilbert’s end of year questions for the past few years and they’re been awesome!
And in solidarity, still working through reading the Bible too.. good thing that God’s word doesn’t return void no matter how fast or slow we read it 😄
I love YearCompass to reflect on the previous year and set some goals for the next year. It’s free and available in many languages. https://yearcompass.com/
If I remember right, part of the reflection on the year has you flip through your calendar/planner and scroll through your photos from the year. To that, I like to add looking over my Spotify/podcast history and books I read, since those are also things that shaped my year or reflect what I went through.
And don’t feel bad about it taking more than a year to complete that resolution. The whole point of setting goals is to get you actively working toward something you otherwise wouldn’t do. Meeting the actual resolution is just icing on the cake. Speaking from one passive perfectionist to another…
LOVED your post! Relatable and always love your recommendations! Miss getting to see and talk with you in person! Merry Christmas to you and your family! ❤️💚
You know, there are so few posts I see in the inbox that I stop what I am doing to pull up and read. Yours? Every single time. Love you and proud of you for not stopping at Chronicles and just pretty much obsessed to be your friend.
Love reading your newsletter, whenever it pops into the inbox. It’s like a surprise gift every time!
I know “passive perfectionism” too. I’ve spent most of 2024 listening and learning its story. Sending love and compassion to your perfectionist part(s) that work so hard!!
Update and highlight of 2024: I helped my Bonus daughter with her college essay. She was willing to let me give feedback for the first time ever! And to “touch” it several times, over several weeks! In that moment, I knew God had prepared me for this role over the past two years by taking all those Exhale writing workshops. It was amazing. Each time I would breathe in a prayer of “what would Sonya say” and embodied an editor that was a ROCKSTAR!! Thank you so much for your teachings and wisdom!!! Smiles, Brittany
Love this Brittany! thank you for sharing this with me. This is so special (and exciting! college!) that she was willing to share her words (i.e. her heart) with you and have you help shape that piece of work. I'm so so so grateful for all the hard work you put into all that editing and revising ... good for you!
And about the perfectionism parts... ooff... they worked hard and I'm seeing how they show up A LOT ... trying to give them compassion all around!
So happy to hear about your Bible-reading journey, Sonya! It was my best resolution of 2024 as well as I had very similar thoughts to you. I also wrote about finishing the Bible (https://jinhee.substack.com/p/4-the-best-things) and since then my husband and I miraculously also read the New Testament together in a month, so I cheer you and everyone on for 2025!!
Here are some ideas for new year reflections I used a few years ago: https://jinhee.substack.com/p/2023-new-year-resolution-guide
I hope you have a great 2025 in the Lord’s presence!
I'm a little late to this comment, but with all the snow here now, I am still in a very new-years-y mood! Thank you for sending this along!
I had a similar revelation a handful of years ago! How had I grown up literally being sent to school classes on the Bible, but not read it all the way through?? It also took me two years to finish the one year plan! Thanks for sharing your very relatable journey.
And man, what it (actually reading through it) does for us, right? Lots of questions, but also, lots of answers.
I’ve never heard the term “passive perfectionist” before, but man, does it sound like me!
I only wrote one public thing in 2024, and that is for sure something I’d like to change in 2025, along with more reading and more just doing the thing even if it isn’t perfect.
Also, I started using Tsh Oxenreider’s reflection questions last year and find then to be a lovely balance of thought-provoking while not having so many that it feels like it takes forever to get through them all. You can find them in this post: https://open.substack.com/pub/tsh/p/endoftheyearreflectionquestions?r=9ip3v&utm_medium=ios
Thank you for sending these! I printed them out to do in the next day or two!
Always love when you show up in my inbox!
I have never really considered myself a perfectionist but have recently noticed some perfectionist tendencies in one of my kids that started me wondering if maybe I do have some perfectionist tendencies… and now I’m off to google everything I can find about passive perfectionism because reading your description of passive perfectionism felt like a huge lightbulb going off in my head!
It was really good for me to learn … I’m sure there’s more to it for me (the way my brain is wired, etc) but I found it helpful! As always, thanks for reading!
I got you, girl. https://yearcompass.com/#download
Thank you!’
Loved loved loved this. Glad you're here again! You've nailed the perfectionism bit - I've always called myself a recovering perfectionist, but maybe I'm just a passive one like you've so helpfully explained.
Either way, it’s good to have language for how we think and and act (or don’t act!)
Your posts are always well timed for me. Thanks for the recommendations on how to read through the Bible; I'm curious to give the podcast a try.
The podcast was key for me, but there are so many resources out there!
This is so relatable. I've started and not finished the Bible for about seven years. When I get behind, I just give up instead of just picking up and continuing. But I think if I ever finish, it will be in two years, not one. Thanks for the inspo, I'll be trying again in 2025. ;)
good for you Stacy! just keep going — just keep going!
I'm a new subscriber, so I think this is the first post I've read and it made me LOL soo much! Congrats on you for getting there! I've been ordained a minister for almost two decades and still haven't read the whole darn thing! Also, I appreciate the inteodyto the term passive perfectionism - this now explains so much about my motivations and lack of follow through.
well welcome! Thank you for reading and commenting! It's a daunting thing to do, right? read it all when there's so much else to do. Glad you're here and glad I made you laugh. :)
Sonya, same. I’ve never read through the entire Bible, and it’s bothered me for the past two years…very acutely around resolution making time 😅 I’m proud of you!!
I am RESOLUTE to do it this year…so much so that I’m doing something called a 30 day shred…where you literally have 1 hobby: read and listen to the Bible on audio. The point is to get the entire arc of scripture like you would when reading straight through any book. I will report back to you if I accomplish it! I’m planning to do it before your class this winter (that I’m saving up for) so I’ll use that as motivation 😂
DEFINETLY report back. Either way, actually. and even if it takes you 60 or 90 days, what an awesome thing to do. because that's exactly what I found -- it all came together as one over arching story! Cannot wait to have you in the workshop!
My husband and I recently had this conviction too— the Bible Recap is amazing!
I found it so so helpful. I hope this might be the nudge you need :)
I’ve worked through Lore Wilbert’s end of year questions for the past few years and they’re been awesome!
And in solidarity, still working through reading the Bible too.. good thing that God’s word doesn’t return void no matter how fast or slow we read it 😄
THANK YOU for the link! Can't wait to check it out.
and yes to your words about going slow... the point is so much bigger than the time frame we do it in.
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment and share this link!
You can find them at the bottom of this post: https://open.substack.com/pub/lorefergusonwilbert/p/the-questions-we-ask-ourselves?r=374gm&utm_medium=ios
I love YearCompass to reflect on the previous year and set some goals for the next year. It’s free and available in many languages. https://yearcompass.com/
If I remember right, part of the reflection on the year has you flip through your calendar/planner and scroll through your photos from the year. To that, I like to add looking over my Spotify/podcast history and books I read, since those are also things that shaped my year or reflect what I went through.
And don’t feel bad about it taking more than a year to complete that resolution. The whole point of setting goals is to get you actively working toward something you otherwise wouldn’t do. Meeting the actual resolution is just icing on the cake. Speaking from one passive perfectionist to another…
from one pp to another: THANK YOU for your words of encouragement! and thank you for this link! I can't wait to check it out, I love this idea.
LOVED your post! Relatable and always love your recommendations! Miss getting to see and talk with you in person! Merry Christmas to you and your family! ❤️💚
Merry Christmas Debbie! I hope you all are doing well!
You know, there are so few posts I see in the inbox that I stop what I am doing to pull up and read. Yours? Every single time. Love you and proud of you for not stopping at Chronicles and just pretty much obsessed to be your friend.
oh stop. ((I love you friend))